Tabatha Deans

Crazy in the Country

   I have a weekend off from the dam and I’m not really excited about staying in Vernal for the weekend. I made the mistake of having dinner with a gentleman last week, after nearly a week of hounding from Kathy and other town members. He’s very nice, a nurse at the local hospital, non-mormon and can form complete sentences. I told him I was only in town for a few months and had a very hectic, busy schedule, and am only looking to meet new friends that I can go shoot pool with or hiking. We had dinner and saw a movie, but unfortunately, just as I suspected, he’s already getting clingy. Like most people in this town, I think he thinks that having a relationship is a top priority, and apparently one date constitutes a relationship.

   The townspeople are no help. The craziness here bothers me in this area. I’ve been hounded with “You like him, call him, go out again,” in the sense that they think ANY man who pays attention to a woman is THE man. Don’t get me wrong, he’s probably prime real estate for many of the women here, but there’s really no spark or chemistry, and although I wouldn’t mind doing something with him again, according to the townfolk we’re already a couple. They can’t understand why I don’t drop everything I’m doing and re-arrange my schedule so I can spend every available moment with him.

   It’s quite sad really, considering the self-worth issues of women here, and the fact that I know many couples who have been married for more than 20 years and really can’t stand each other, but stay married because they don’t think they can do better. I realize people here are sheltered, but they sell Cosmo at 7-11 and almost everyone has cable, so you’d think they’d realize times have changed.

   But, I’ve let him down gently, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little flattering to have a man pine for me. It’s made me realize that I need to brush up on my dating skills.  Actually brushing up isn’t the right word, because since I married the first guy I dated at 16, I never really developed any dating skills. So, more precisely, I need to develop some dating skills. Like, what do I do when they try to hold my hand and I don’t want to? What do I do if they go in for a good night kiss and I don’t want to? How do I tell them that I’m not interested without sending them into suicidal depressions? How do I not try to find something attractive about them when there’s nothing there to find? I’m going to have to seek advice from the young ones I guess.

   As far as the Vernal Express goes I’m doing well. I’m cranking out stories weekly, although after reading the paper today I realize that I no longer have the luxury of an editor. Keahey, at the Salt Lake Tribune, spoiled me in the sense that he’s been doing it for a long time, and although he really busted my chops for the first six months, he always made sure I did it properly. I was bothered today when I read my stories and found many, many errors in the cutlines and story. When I was as the Taylorsville Eagle I was used to being unedited, and I guess I’m back to editing myself. The good thing is that I think my stories have more impact here, the bad thing is that one typo can destroy the whole intent of the story.

   With the weekend free I’m planning to spend some serious time working on my fiction book. It’s been on the back burner lately and I’m tempted to go ahead and get a camp spot for the weekend just to have the solitude and do some writing. But for now, I’m in Roosevelt for the day jumping feet first into the battle between the Ute Indian Tribe and the Uintah County School District. The natives are restless and the officials are apathetic, so it will be interesting to see what I find at the meeting.

August 21, 2008 - Posted by Tabatha Stewart | Uncategorized