Tabatha Deans

Countdown on the Dam

Countdown on the Dam

I only have a few weekends left on my tour of duty as a Dam guide, and as I’m sitting here in my tent watching the sun go down, I’m already starting to miss my time here. Many of the dam guides are getting ready to head out for the year, and I’ve enjoyed listening to the old sea captain and his wife talk about their upcoming adventures. The campgrounds are mostly empty now, with the exception of a few camp hosts and some people I think are working in the oilfield and living in the campground.

            After last weekend I was a little nervous to return to the mountain, but after pitching my tent and settling in, it looks like we’re going to have good weather, although a little chilly, for the weekend. Reflecting on my time here has made me really proud of  myself. Six months ago I only would have dreamed of camping alone and working with strangers in a place I really don’t know much about. But I have persevered, and plan to stick it out through the end of the month. I feel really good about how “tough” I really am. I’ve always thought of myself as being tough, but have never put it to the test until now. So I’m having a snack in my tent and patting myself on the back.

            But as quickly as the past two months have flown by, it seems like my journey may end before it even really gets started. There are so many more things I want to do and many more places I want to see, but at the same time I’ve thought a lot about Jessica and her future. When I’m finished with my wandering ways, I want to have a home, a place that Jessica and her family can come to for visits and the holidays. I know that working temporary or part time jobs won’t be enough to allow that, and I know that I must enter the world of novel writing if I hope to have the grand place I’ve always envisioned for us. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to put pen to paper in the fiction area, heaven knows I have plenty of good ideas running through my head.

            I’m thankful to Katie and Julie at the Tribune, who gave to me as a parting gift a travel neck pillow and a book light. Each weekend I come here my little flashlight runs dead quickly, so I’ve resorted to using my book light as my flashlight. I awake to the alarm of the bobble clock they gave me, so each night when I go to bed I think of them, and each morning when I wake up I think of them.

The wind’s kicking up and it’s time to batten down the hatches, so I’ll go spend another night writing books in my head, and hopefully tomorrow I’ll actually get some of them down on paper.

September 6, 2008 - Posted by Tabatha Stewart | Uncategorized