Tabatha Deans

The Book of Life

The Book of Life…
I kind of like the urgency middle age has thrust upon me. This unexpected thought came to me after realizing that 2012 is nearly over, and I have not quite filled this year’s Book of Life. I start each year with a fresh, new journal. I have always had a love of journals, and usually fall in love with a new one long before I’ve finished the one I’m writing in. It kind of motivates me to finish the current one, and gives me something to look forward to each year. Honestly, I seldom complete every page of a journal, but I like to think that generations to come will use the blank pages for their own notes. Plus, I was once told by an authoritative 8 year old, “Don’t feel guilty about the unfinished journals.”
But I felt a small panic at the thought that this year’s journal was only ¾ full, and the year was nearing the end. There was a time when I could write in the same journal for several years, without filling the pages, but over the past few years, as I’ve gotten older, I feel an urgency not only to write things down so I don’t forget them, but also to actually do more things. When I was in my twenties, I assumed I had my whole life ahead of me to travel, try new things, eat ethnic food and fall in love. Now, my biggest fear is that I’ll wake up tomorrow and be 80.
But a look back through this year’s Book of Life reminded me that I have indeed embraced every opportunity to try new things this year. I’ve traveled to San Francisco, Vernal and Spirit Lake, where I spent time with family and loved ones. I’ve hiked a 14’er (technically) and scaled several other mountain trails to bask in the beauty of the summit. I’ve written stories to help the homeless, and stories that spotlight the diversity of ethnic groups. I became a certified Community Action member, with the ability to spot a terrorist, or maybe just a crazy neighbor. I’ve played Snooker, although I did not get snookered, and I’ve fallen in love.
So, although the year has flown by, and I still fear I’ll wake up and be 80, I can’t spend too much time worrying about it. I do, after all, have ¼ of a journal left to fill in the next two months. I’m starting with going to the zoo today, since it’s free admission day. And maybe I’ll end the year with fencing lessons….

November 5, 2012 - Posted by Tabatha Stewart | Uncategorized | 14er, book, denver, hiking, journal, love, middle age, san francisco