Tabatha Deans

A Long-Overdue Update

A long-overdue update…

            I am alive. I have not fallen off the face of the earth, nor have my fingers been ripped from my body in a horrible accident, making it impossible for me to sit down at the computer and scribe the daily happenings of my life. But apparently I have gotten a life—and a very busy one at that.

            In the strange way that only happens with age, it seems like a lifetime ago I moved to Denver, but at the same time it seems like just yesterday. I remember wandering around downtown with no place in particular to go, nobody I knew to go see. I observed the world and jotted notes in my notebook, and at the end of the day I would fill my time writing about the lives of those I had watched, and how they fit into my own small world.

            I still spend a good deal of time watching the world and taking notes, not wanting to forget every small adventure that plays out. But the past year has been a big one for me, and I find my time filled with not only solitary adventures, but adventures that include an ever-expanding group of loved ones, and I selfishly have reveled in them, not taking the extra minutes to document my happiness.

            So, here’s a long-overdue update. In the past year I quit smoking, fell in love, am almost a grandmother, and Jessica has moved to Colorado, with her beloved in tow. (And, of course, my granddaughter who is still in her belly.) My lingerie box has been replaced with baby items, and I am counting down the days (about 60) until I leave my apartment and move in with Mi Amante, for a peaceful life in the suburbs. I have enjoyed the city life for more than two years, and am ready to move on. The “gayborhood” I live in has been interesting, but sadly I have not established any friendships with my neighbors, and have found no sense of community there. I will always fondly remember the days of sitting in my window overlooking the city lights, waiting for someone to happen along that I could share my life with. Now I’m off to share my life.

            I have spent time writing for a marijuana lifestyle magazine, which went under after a year or so, perhaps because nobody could stay focused on the task of publishing. I tried my hand writing for the African American community, and although it was interesting and I learned a lot, it really wasn’t the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had, and it was glaringly obvious these were not my people, nor did they have any inkling to include me in their world. The homeless however, have truly embraced me. But after two years writing for the local streetpaper, I need to move on to projects that pay better, or pay at all. So I’ve sold out, and now spend my days writing promotional blogs for a local website. The other days I still spend at the donation center, where I occasionally work away at finishing one of the three fiction novels I have nearly finished.

            My world is definitely changing, and those who know me know I don’t really care for change. But it’s out of my hands, so I guess I’ll just go along and promise I will try to post more as I begin the new journey of love, grandmotherhood, mother-in-lawhood, and whatever else comes my way.

July 24, 2013 - Posted by Tabatha Stewart | Uncategorized | daughter, denver, gay, journey, lesbian, love, pregnancy, romance, sex, spiritual